Random jokes
Yo mamma's so fat! ->
Yo mamma's so fat the cops had to use "The Jaws of life" to get her INTO her car!... [ca造 ->]
The Educational Toy ->
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk. "It's designed to adjust the tot to live in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied.... "Any way ... [ca造 ->]
The Ride ->
Sally was a girl with no horsebackriding experience, yet one day she discided to take her chances. As she climbed on the big Palimino, it took off at a gallop. Sally was sliding off. She tried to grab the mane but she couldn't seem to get a grip. So ... [ca造 ->]
But I'm not a Giants Fan... ->
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was s... [ca造 ->]
Homer Simpson Laugh-Lines! ->
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? ***** Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose ... it's how drun... [ca造 ->]
Revocation of Independence ->
To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen ... [ca造 ->]
Flowers ->
A blonde and brunette were walking down the road. The brunette see's her husband, and he is carrying flowers. The brunette says to the blonde "now I'm going to half to spread my legs!", and the blonde says "why? don't you have a vase?"... [ca造 ->]
Doctor Sex ->
This chick walks into a doctors surgery and the nurse tells her to take off her clothes and that the doctor will be with her in a minute so she does. The doctor walks in and take off his coat and starts to feel between her thighs. He asks "do you... [ca造 ->]
Dog with no legs ->
Q. Where you you fing a dog with no legs? A. Right where you left it.... [ca造 ->]
The Darwin Awards-1996 Nominees ->
[San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot... [ca造 ->]
Dirty Dishes! ->
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers ... [ca造 ->]
Your mom is soooo fat... ->
Your mom is so fat, I can get morning exercise by running around here!... [ca造 ->]
Mirror, mirror ->
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light,... [ca造 ->]
Skylights ->
I had skylights installed at my place the other day...the people that live upstairs are really mad!... [ca造 ->]
Grandma's Advice ->
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that b... [ca造 ->]